{"id":3910,"date":"2015-02-14T14:44:28","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T12:44:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3910"},"modified":"2015-02-14T14:44:28","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T12:44:28","slug":"biblical-spokespersons","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3910","title":{"rendered":"Biblical Spokespersons"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>What if biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Noah for Match.com:<br \/>\nWe can find a mate for anything. Why not you?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com):<br \/>\nTake two tablets and call me in the morning.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>The dove for UPS.com:<br \/>\nGuaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Adam and Eve for Dell:<br \/>\nNo Apples for us. We&#8217;ve learned the hard way.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Solomon for Microsoft:<br \/>\nDon&#8217;t cut the baby in half.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Joseph for Nikon Coolpix:<br \/>\nOnly Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dreamcoat.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Methuselah for AARP.org:<br \/>\nLife begins at 960.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>John the Baptist for DunkinDonuts.com:<br \/>\nYou&#8217;ll be head over heels for our new Munchkin platter.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Pharaoh for Symantec:<br \/>\nIf only we&#8217;d had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002 &#8230; B.C.E.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Job for NASDAQ:<br \/>\n&#8216;Nuff said.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What if biblical characters could be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans: Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you? Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com): Take two tablets and call me in the morning. The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[233,1351],"class_list":["post-3910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spirit","tag-bible","tag-spokesperson"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3910"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3910\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3910"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3910"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3910"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}