{"id":3908,"date":"2015-02-14T14:40:22","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T12:40:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3908"},"modified":"2015-02-14T14:40:22","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T12:40:22","slug":"ways-to-get-rid-of-telephone-solicitors","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3908","title":{"rendered":"Ways to Get Rid of Telephone Solicitors"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>&#8220;So, what are you wearing?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Talk very quietly and then without warning, scream as loud as you can into the phone.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;ll have to excuse me now, my armpit is on fire.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, but this phone is for personal calls only. The boss won&#8217;t let us use it for business.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Respond to their questions with fax\/modem noises.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Have you heard about that study showing that it can cause impotence to sit all day with a telephone receiver next to your head?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>When they ask to speak with you, say &#8220;Just a moment,&#8221; and give the phone to your six-year old child to carry on the conversation.<\/li>\n<li>Pretend to be very interested in their product and then quite calmly and earnestly inquire, &#8220;Yes, but can it make a six minute casserole?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I am truly sorry but the moon is in the seventh house of Pluto and my astrologer would just die if he knew I was talking to a salesman during this solar phase.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;This isn&#8217;t a recording.  This isn&#8217;t a recording.  This isn&#8217;t a recording.  This isn&#8217;t a recording.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bizarre things to say and do to a telephone solicitor to get him to hang up and leave you alone: &#8220;So, what are you wearing?&#8221; Talk very quietly and then without warning, scream as loud as you can into the phone. &#8220;You&#8217;ll have to excuse me now, my armpit is on fire.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, but [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[1414],"class_list":["post-3908","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stress","tag-telemarketer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3908","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3908"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3908\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}