{"id":3886,"date":"2015-02-14T13:59:36","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:59:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3886"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:59:36","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:59:36","slug":"chain-letter-fertilizer-club","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3886","title":{"rendered":"Chain Letter Fertilizer Club"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Friend:<\/p>\n<p>This letter is being sent to you because I know you are interested in having a beautiful lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer club and it will not cost you one cent. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and shit on the lawn. You will not be the only one there, so don&#8217;t be embarrassed.<\/p>\n<p>Make five copies of this letter and send them to five of your friends who appreciate good lawns.<\/p>\n<p>You will not get any money or checks, but within one week, if this chain is not broken, there will be 9,216 people shitting on your lawn.  Your reward will come next summer when you have the greenest lawn in the neighborhood.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Mrs. Ima Enama<br \/>\n15 W. Sore Hinne Rd.<br \/>\nSeapwater Gap, PA<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Max Stink<br \/>\n1605 Grunt&#8217;n&#8217;Groan Ave.<br \/>\nForcet, DE<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mr. Harry Butt<br \/>\n236 Corn Cob Alley<br \/>\nFlushing, NY<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Lucy Bowells<br \/>\n452 Diahrrea Dr.<br \/>\nRunnytown, PA<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Tom Tightsqueeze<br \/>\n697 Grunt Ave.<br \/>\nMovement, IL<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Opal Crapp<br \/>\n2255 Enema Dr.<br \/>\nClearview, FL<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mr. Howie Fartz<br \/>\nConstipation Blvd.<br \/>\nSqueezethru, NY<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Smelly Buttz<br \/>\n935 Bed Pan Alley<br \/>\nEmptyit, MD<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mr. Charles Syringe<br \/>\n2 Suppository Lane<br \/>\nSmellytown, OR<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. I. Doitdaily<br \/>\n365 Hopperseat Rd.<br \/>\nManurepile, MA<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mr. G. Howett Smells<br \/>\n117 Foreign Matters Bl.<br \/>\nStinkerville, MS<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. Kelly B. Hind<br \/>\n428 Gashouse Rd.<br \/>\nOily Flats, PA<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. A Biggermovement<br \/>\n53 Rectum Pl.<br \/>\nRearview, FL<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Mrs. B. Poopado<br \/>\nOut House Lane<br \/>\nScoupditch, PA<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p>P.S. If you are constipated, pass this on to your neighbor&#8230; Do  not break the chain.  One man didn&#8217;t give a shit and he lost his <\/p>\n<p>entire lawn.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dear Friend: This letter is being sent to you because I know you are interested in having a beautiful lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer club and it will not cost you one cent. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address at the top of the list and shit on the lawn. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[57],"tags":[641],"class_list":["post-3886","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stress","tag-fertilizer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3886","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3886"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3886\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3886"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3886"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3886"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}