{"id":3880,"date":"2015-02-14T13:47:32","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:47:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3880"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:47:32","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:47:32","slug":"cheer-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3880","title":{"rendered":"Cheer Up!"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>The parachute company says you&#8217;ll get a full refund.<\/li>\n<li>They say the house didn&#8217;t float very far at all.<\/li>\n<li>We&#8217;re all amazed that you go on living each day.<\/li>\n<li>Well, at least the operation was a partial success.<\/li>\n<li>The &#8220;National Enquirer&#8221; just loved those nude shots of you.<\/li>\n<li>The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.<\/li>\n<li>With the lights dimmed, it looks almost normal.<\/li>\n<li>The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.<\/li>\n<li>At least the passenger side air bag inflated.<\/li>\n<li>Jerry Springer wants you for this &#8220;secret admirer show.&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.<\/li>\n<li>At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.<\/li>\n<li>The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T Bird.<\/li>\n<li>The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.<\/li>\n<li>Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don&#8217;t worry about it.<\/li>\n<li>Lots of guys face multiple paternity suits.<\/li>\n<li>The boss said while you&#8217;re sick, he&#8217;d do all your work personally.<\/li>\n<li>MicroSoft Tech Support said those errors just aren&#8217;t possible.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The parachute company says you&#8217;ll get a full refund. They say the house didn&#8217;t float very far at all. We&#8217;re all amazed that you go on living each day. Well, at least the operation was a partial success. The &#8220;National Enquirer&#8221; just loved those nude shots of you. The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[354],"class_list":["post-3880","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-cheer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3880","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3880"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3880\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3880"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3880"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3880"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}