{"id":3868,"date":"2015-02-14T13:35:46","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:35:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3868"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:35:46","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:35:46","slug":"intellectually-challenged-people-on-the-loose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3868","title":{"rendered":"Intellectually Challenged People on the Loose"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>IDIOTS IN SERVICE:<br \/>\nThis week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and  7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window. The pleasant gentleman asked, &#8220;Would you like us to call you before we come?&#8221; I replied that I didn&#8217;t see how he would be able to do that since our phones weren&#8217;t working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOTS AT WORK:<br \/>\nI was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:<br \/>\nI live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new Neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and she didn&#8217;t want them to cross there anymore.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:<br \/>\nMy daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for &#8220;minimal lettuce.&#8221; He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. At another Taco Bell, I was asked if I wanted the food to go. I said no. She asked, do you want to eat it here? I said, can I eat it on the roof?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOT SIGHTING #1:<br \/>\nI was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, &#8220;Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?&#8221; To which I replied, &#8220;If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?&#8221; She smiled knowingly and nodded, &#8220;That&#8217;s why we ask.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOT SIGHTING #2:<br \/>\nThe stoplight on the corner buzzes when it&#8217;s safe To cross the street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, &#8220;What on earth are blind people doing driving?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOT SIGHTING #3:<br \/>\nAt a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company due to &#8220;downsizing,&#8221; our manager commented cheerfully, &#8220;This is fun. We should do this more often.&#8221; Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOT SIGHTING #4:<br \/>\nI work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn&#8217;t understand why her system would not turn on.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>IDIOT SIGHTING #5:<br \/>\nWhen my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver&#8217;s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. &#8220;Hey,&#8221; I announced to the technician, &#8220;it&#8217;s open!&#8221; To which he replied, &#8220;I know &#8211; I already got that side.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>IDIOTS IN SERVICE: This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window. The pleasant gentleman asked, &#8220;Would you like us to call you before we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[832],"class_list":["post-3868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-say-what","tag-idiots"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3868","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3868"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3868\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3868"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3868"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3868"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}