{"id":3866,"date":"2015-02-14T13:34:54","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:34:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3866"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:34:54","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:34:54","slug":"in-my-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3866","title":{"rendered":"In My Day"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Note: The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had had it &#8220;in the old days.&#8221; Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Second Runner-Up:<br \/>\nIn my day, we couldn&#8217;t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>First Runner-Up:<br \/>\nIn my day, we didn&#8217;t have MTV or in-line skates, or  any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you&#8217;d weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we&#8217;d use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn&#8217;t adjust our skates, which didn&#8217;t really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>And the winner:<br \/>\nIn my day, we didn&#8217;t have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<div align=\"center\"><b>Honorable Mentions:<\/b><\/div>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.<\/li>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.<\/li>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying &#8216;Doors closing.&#8217; We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.<\/li>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.<\/li>\n<li>Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.<\/li>\n<li>Back in my day, &#8217;60 Minutes&#8217; wasn&#8217;t just a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of gray-haired, liberal 60-year-old guys.<\/li>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.<\/li>\n<li>Back in my day, they hadn&#8217;t invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.<\/li>\n<li>In my day, we didn&#8217;t have Strom Thurmond. Oh, wait. Yes we did.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Note: The Washington Post recently had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had had it &#8220;in the old days.&#8221; Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below. Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn&#8217;t afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[729],"class_list":["post-3866","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","tag-good-old-days"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3866","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3866"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3866\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3866"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3866"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3866"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}