{"id":3864,"date":"2015-02-14T13:34:03","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:34:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3864"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:34:03","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:34:03","slug":"idle-thoughts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3864","title":{"rendered":"Idle Thoughts"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Indecision is the key to flexibility.<\/li>\n<li>There is always one more son-of-a-bitch than you counted on.<\/li>\n<li>If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it.<\/li>\n<li>All things equal, fat people use more soap.<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t tell which way the train went by looking at the track.<\/li>\n<li>Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a tough battle.<\/li>\n<li>This is as bad as it can get, but don&#8217;t bet on it.<\/li>\n<li>There is no substitute for genuine lack of preparation.<\/li>\n<li>By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.<\/li>\n<li>Happiness is merely the remission of pain.<\/li>\n<li>Nostalgia isn&#8217;t what it used to be.<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes too much drink is not enough.<\/li>\n<li>The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.<\/li>\n<li>The world gets a little better every day and worse in the evening.<\/li>\n<li>The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.<\/li>\n<li>No one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.<\/li>\n<li>Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.<\/li>\n<li>Things are more like they are today than they ever have been before.<\/li>\n<li>The other line always moves faster until you get in it.<\/li>\n<li>Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.<\/li>\n<li>Everything should be made as simple as possible but no simpler.<\/li>\n<li>Friends may come and go but enemies accumulate.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s hard to be nostalgic when you can&#8217;t remember anything.<\/li>\n<li>I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.<\/li>\n<li>To live forever, acquire a chronic disease and take care of it.<\/li>\n<li>Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.<\/li>\n<li>If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven&#8217;t met everybody.<\/li>\n<li>If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.<\/li>\n<li>One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.<\/li>\n<li>The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Indecision is the key to flexibility. There is always one more son-of-a-bitch than you counted on. If you find something you like, buy a lifetime supply, because they will stop making it. All things equal, fat people use more soap. You can&#8217;t tell which way the train went by looking at the track. Be kind, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[1434],"class_list":["post-3864","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3864","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3864"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3864\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3864"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3864"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3864"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}