{"id":3862,"date":"2015-02-14T13:33:21","date_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:33:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3862"},"modified":"2015-02-14T13:33:21","modified_gmt":"2015-02-14T11:33:21","slug":"how-to-write-good","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3862","title":{"rendered":"How to Write Good"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\">by Sally Bulford<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Avoid alliteration.  Always.<\/li>\n<li>Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.<\/li>\n<li>Avoid cliches like the plague.  (They&#8217;re old hat.)<\/li>\n<li>Employ the vernacular.<\/li>\n<li>Eschew ampersands &#038; abbreviations, etc.<\/li>\n<li>Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.<\/li>\n<li>It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.<\/li>\n<li>Contractions aren&#8217;t necessary.<\/li>\n<li>Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.<\/li>\n<li>One should never generalize.<\/li>\n<li>Eliminate quotations.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, &#8220;I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Comparisons are as bad as cliches.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t be redundant; don&#8217;t use more words than necessary; it&#8217;s highly superfluous.<\/li>\n<li>Be more or less specific.<\/li>\n<li>Understatement is always best.<\/li>\n<li>One-word sentences?  Eliminate.<\/li>\n<li>Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.<\/li>\n<li>The passive voice is to be avoided.<\/li>\n<li>Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.<\/li>\n<li>Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.<\/li>\n<li>Who needs rhetorical questions?<\/li>\n<li>Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>by Sally Bulford Avoid alliteration. Always. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They&#8217;re old hat.) Employ the vernacular. Eschew ampersands &#038; abbreviations, etc. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Contractions aren&#8217;t necessary. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. One [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[1549],"class_list":["post-3862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-play","tag-writing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3862"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3862\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}