{"id":3820,"date":"2015-02-08T21:53:09","date_gmt":"2015-02-08T19:53:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3820"},"modified":"2015-02-08T21:53:09","modified_gmt":"2015-02-08T19:53:09","slug":"bible-riddles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3820","title":{"rendered":"Bible Riddles"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Pharaoh&#8217;s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?<br \/>\nA. Ruth-less.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the first drug addict in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury.<br \/>\nA. David&#8217;s Triumph was heard throughout the land.<br \/>\nA. Honda&#8230; because the apostles were all in one Accord.<br \/>\nA. 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in a Volkswagen, &#8220;We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Samson; he brought the house down. <\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden?<br \/>\nA. They were really put out.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What is one of the first things that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out?<br \/>\nA. They really raised Cain.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?<br \/>\nA. Your mother ate us out of house and home.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. How long did Cain hate his brother?<br \/>\nA. As long as he was Abel! <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What was the last thing Noah said before he entered the Ark?<br \/>\nA. So long Fellers! <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. The ark was built in 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories?<br \/>\nA. They used floodlights.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. After the flood, how many people left the ark ahead of Noah?<br \/>\nA. 3 because the Bible says that Noah went forth out of the ark.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Where is another mention of insurance in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. When David gave Goliath a piece of the rock.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q.  Who was the first Electrical Engineer?<br \/>\nA.  Noah; he made the ark light on Mt. Ararat.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q.  Who ran the the first electronics shop?<br \/>\nA.  Adam; he supplied spare parts for the first loudspeaker.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. David, he rocked Goliath to sleep.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?<br \/>\nA. The thought had never entered his head before? <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath?<br \/>\nA. No, he already fell for it once.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Why did Paul tell Timothy to take just a little wine for the sake of his stomach?<br \/>\nA. Because it was Paul&#8217;s bottle.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What is the best way to get to Paradise?<br \/>\nA. Turn right and go straight.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Why won&#8217;t we drink milk in the new world?<br \/>\nA. Because, at Armageddon, there will be udder destruction.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Why shouldn&#8217;t Christians watch TV?<br \/>\nA. At the transfiguration, Jesus said, &#8220;Tell the vision to no one.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Moses, he wrote the book of Numbers.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q.  Who was the first man mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nA.  Chap One.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?<br \/>\nA. The area around the Jordan, the banks were always overflowing.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor?<br \/>\nA. Because Job 16:12, 14, 16 says, &#8220;I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me.&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Will there be dogs in the new system?<br \/>\nA. No, 2 Peter 3:14 tells us that we will be without spot.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who was the straightest man in the bible?<br \/>\nA. Joseph, because the Pharaoh made him a ruler.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who are the 3 shortest men in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Bildad the shuhite<br \/>\nA. Nehemiah (knee-hi-miah!)<br \/>\nA. The man who fell asleep in his watch.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Who is the largest woman in the Bible<br \/>\nA. The woman of Samaria.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. Which is the first instance of tennis playing in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Moses served in the courts of Pharaoh.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What is the first instance of cannibalism in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. 2 Kings 8:1.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What is the first instance of cricket in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Peter stood up before the 11 and was bold.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q. What is the first instance of beer drinking in the Bible?<br \/>\nA. Peter stood up and took Courage.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Q. Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A. Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation. Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A. Pharaoh&#8217;s daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q. What kind of man was [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[233],"class_list":["post-3820","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-spirit","tag-bible"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3820","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3820"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3820\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3820"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3820"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3820"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}