{"id":3753,"date":"2015-02-06T14:29:50","date_gmt":"2015-02-06T12:29:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3753"},"modified":"2015-02-06T14:29:50","modified_gmt":"2015-02-06T12:29:50","slug":"some-daffy-product-instructions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3753","title":{"rendered":"Some Daffy Product Instructions"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>On a Sears hairdryer:<br \/>\n&#8211; Do not use while sleeping.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a bag of Fritos:<br \/>\n&#8211; You could be a winner!No purchase necessary.Details inside.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a bar of Dial soap:<br \/>\n&#8211; Directions:Use like regular soap.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a Swanson&#8217;s frozen dinner:<br \/>\n&#8211; Serving suggestion:Defrost.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:<br \/>\n&#8211; Fits one head.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a package of Tesco&#8217;s Tiramisu dessert:<br \/>\n&#8211; Do not turn upside down (printed on the bottom of the box).<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a package of Marks &#038; Spencer Bread Pudding:<br \/>\n&#8211; Product will be hot after heating.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:<br \/>\n&#8211; Do not iron clothes on body.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a bottle of Boot&#8217;s Children&#8217;s Cough Medicine:<br \/>\n&#8211; Do not drive car or operate machinery.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On Nytol Sleep Aid:<br \/>\n&#8211; Warning: may cause drowsiness<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a Korean-made kitchen knife:<br \/>\n&#8211; Warning keep out of children.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:<br \/>\n&#8211; For indoor or outdoor use only.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a Japanese-made food processor:<br \/>\n&#8211; Not to be used for the other use.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On Sunsbury&#8217;s peanuts:<br \/>\n&#8211; Warning: contains nuts.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:<br \/>\n&#8211; Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a Swedish chainsaw:<br \/>\n&#8211; Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>On a packet of Sunmaid raisins:<br \/>\n&#8211; Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On a Sears hairdryer: &#8211; Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: &#8211; You could be a winner!No purchase necessary.Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: &#8211; Directions:Use like regular soap. On a Swanson&#8217;s frozen dinner: &#8211; Serving suggestion:Defrost. On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: &#8211; Fits one head. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27],"tags":[1199],"class_list":["post-3753","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funlists","tag-product-instructions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3753","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3753"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3753\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3753"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3753"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3753"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}