{"id":373,"date":"2014-12-22T00:22:16","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:22:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=373"},"modified":"2014-12-22T00:22:16","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:22:16","slug":"signs-your-car-needs-cleaning","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=373","title":{"rendered":"Signs Your Car Needs Cleaning"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Your beautiful new VW Beetle is constantly being mistaken for the Oscar Meyer Turdmobile.<\/li>\n<li>On the way to the fishin&#8217; hole, Andy and Opie stop by your windshield for bait.<\/li>\n<li>Greenpeace won&#8217;t let you move the car for fear of displacing some dung beetles that have taken up residence.<\/li>\n<li>Neighborhood kids offer: &#8220;Mow your Volvo, sir?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Your pine tree air freshener is now a protected old growth forest.<\/li>\n<li>Satellite photos reveal crop circles on your roof.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Wash Me&#8221; appears on your trunk &#8212; chiseled with a jackhammer.<\/li>\n<li>Impossible to drive with the kids always clamoring to have a look through the periscope.<\/li>\n<li>Your &#8220;cell phone antenna&#8221; is really a sapling which took root.<\/li>\n<li>Kids write &#8220;PLOW ME!&#8221; on your trunk.<\/li>\n<li>When you blow the horn, prairie dogs pop up from the hood.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your beautiful new VW Beetle is constantly being mistaken for the Oscar Meyer Turdmobile. On the way to the fishin&#8217; hole, Andy and Opie stop by your windshield for bait. Greenpeace won&#8217;t let you move the car for fear of displacing some dung beetles that have taken up residence. Neighborhood kids offer: &#8220;Mow your Volvo, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[318,924],"class_list":["post-373","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car","tag-cars","tag-lists"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=373"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/373\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=373"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=373"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=373"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}