{"id":3671,"date":"2015-02-05T17:51:26","date_gmt":"2015-02-05T15:51:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3671"},"modified":"2015-02-05T17:51:26","modified_gmt":"2015-02-05T15:51:26","slug":"real-questions-about-australia","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3671","title":{"rendered":"Real Questions About Australia"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Web site and the answers are the actual responses by the web site officials, who obviously have a sense of humor.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<p><li>Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)<br \/>\nA: Depends how much you&#8217;ve been drinking.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK.)<br \/>\nA: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney &#8211; can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)<br \/>\nA: Sure, it&#8217;s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)<br \/>\nA: So it&#8217;s true what they say about Swedes.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)<br \/>\nA: What did your last slave die of?<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)<br \/>\nA: A-fri-ca is the big triangle-shaped continent south of \/\/Europe\/\/. Aus-tra-li-a is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not&#8230; oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)<br \/>\nA: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we&#8217;ll send the rest of the directions.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys&#8217; Choir schedule? (USA)<br \/>\nA: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is&#8230;oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)<br \/>\nA: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter\/gatherers. Milk is illegal.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)<br \/>\nA: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled, and make good pets.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)<br \/>\nA: Yes, gay nightclubs<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)<br \/>\nA: Only at Christmas.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)<br \/>\nA: Yes, but you&#8217;ll have to learn it first.<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n<p align=\"center\">G\u2019Day, mate!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>These questions were posted on an Australian Tourism Web site and the answers are the actual responses by the web site officials, who obviously have a sense of humor. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) A: Depends how much you&#8217;ve been drinking. Q: Does it ever get windy in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[168],"class_list":["post-3671","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-australia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3671","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3671"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3671\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3671"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3671"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3671"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}