{"id":3657,"date":"2015-02-05T17:27:35","date_gmt":"2015-02-05T15:27:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3657"},"modified":"2015-02-05T17:27:35","modified_gmt":"2015-02-05T15:27:35","slug":"a-farmers-will","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3657","title":{"rendered":"A Farmer&#8217;s Will"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.<\/li>\n<li>TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway.<\/li>\n<li>TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He&#8217;ll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to let them take it next year anyway.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE FARM ADVISOR: 50 bushels of corn to see if he can hit the market. I never did.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE JUNK MAN: All my machinery. He&#8217;s had his eye on it for years.<\/li>\n<li>TO MY UNDERTAKER: A special request. I want six implement and fertilizer dealers for my pallbearers. They&#8217;re used to carrying me.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE WEATHERMAN: Rain, sleet, and snow for the funeral please. No sense having good weather now.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE GRAVEDIGGER: Don&#8217;t bother. The hole I&#8217;m in should be big enough.<\/li>\n<li>TO THE MONUMENT MAKER: For the epitaph: &#8220;Here lies a farmer who has now properly assumed all of his obligations.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>TO MY WIFE: My overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it. TO MY BANKER: My soul. He has the mortgage on it anyway. TO MY NEIGHBOR: My clown suit. He&#8217;ll need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past. TO THE ASCS: My grain bin. I was planning to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[53],"tags":[625],"class_list":["post-3657","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-say-what","tag-farmer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3657","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3657"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3657\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3657"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3657"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3657"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}