{"id":365,"date":"2014-12-22T00:13:13","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:13:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=365"},"modified":"2014-12-22T00:13:13","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:13:13","slug":"accident-excuses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=365","title":{"rendered":"Accident Excuses"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><UL><\/p>\n<li>My truck was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.<\/li>\n<li>I hit a stationary truck that was coming from another direction.<\/li>\n<li>Coming home, I drove into the wrong yard, and collided with a tree I don&#8217;t have.<\/li>\n<li>The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it hit me.<\/li>\n<li>In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.<\/li>\n<li>The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.<\/li>\n<li>An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my truck and vanished.<\/li>\n<li>I had been driving my truck for 40 years when I fell asleep and had an accident.<\/li>\n<li>The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go&#8211;so I ran over him.<\/li>\n<li>I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.<\/li>\n<li>I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.<\/li>\n<li>The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.<\/li>\n<li>A truck backed through my windshield into my wife&#8217;s face.<\/li>\n<li>I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.<\/li>\n<li>A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.<\/li>\n<p><\/UL><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My truck was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle. I hit a stationary truck that was coming from another direction. Coming home, I drove into the wrong yard, and collided with a tree I don&#8217;t have. The telephone pole was approaching fast. I attempted to swerve out of its path when it hit [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[318,548,610],"class_list":["post-365","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car","tag-cars","tag-driving","tag-excuse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=365"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/365\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=365"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=365"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=365"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}