{"id":3645,"date":"2015-01-25T20:34:12","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:34:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3645"},"modified":"2015-01-25T20:34:12","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:34:12","slug":"tips-for-traveling-in-alabama","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3645","title":{"rendered":"Tips for Traveling in Alabama"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Rasslin&#8217; is not fake. Don&#8217;t dare whisper otherwise unless you want a kind-hearted Alabamaian to fix your busted head with duct tape.<\/li>\n<li>Grapefruit is not a substitute for biscuits and gravy.<\/li>\n<li>Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt and Elvis are good ole boys. Jeff Gordon ain&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<li>Turkey hunters actually curse Noah for letting coyotes and armadillos on the Ark. <\/li>\n<li>If you hear a turkey gobble, get out of the way. Some view that sound like pay-off bells at a slot machine.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t be surprised if an obituary mentions that the deceased requested to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, &#8220;It ain&#8217;t never been in a hole it couldn&#8217;t get out of.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Y&#8217;all come back now, ya here,&#8221; is a temporary statement. We love Yankees to visit, but darn (or worse) Yankees are those who decide to stay.<\/li>\n<li>If you decide to stay in Alabama and bear children, don&#8217;t think we will accept them as Alabamaians. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn&#8217;t call &#8217;em biscuits.<\/li>\n<li>If you hear some use the word FIX or FIXIN&#8217;, and it isn&#8217;t in the sense that they are repairing something. Example: I&#8217;m FIXIN&#8217; to go to the store&#8230;. or &#8220;Y&#8217;all FIX me a coke in there will ya!&#8221; This is a valid part of Alabama grammar and is taught regularly in our English classes at school.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Rasslin&#8217; is not fake. Don&#8217;t dare whisper otherwise unless you want a kind-hearted Alabamaian to fix your busted head with duct tape. Grapefruit is not a substitute for biscuits and gravy. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt and Elvis are good ole boys. Jeff Gordon ain&#8217;t. Turkey hunters actually curse Noah for letting coyotes and armadillos on [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,63],"tags":[125],"class_list":["post-3645","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","category-travel","tag-alabama"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3645"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3645\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}