Dear Dr. Dover:<\/p>\n
I wish to apply for an operation to cut my nuts and make me sterile. My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless.<\/p>\n
After getting married here in West Virginia I was advised to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, my wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured myself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from that, where do you find a band when you get the urge at two o’clock in the morning?<\/p>\n
A doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we were living with the in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks for the safe period, when the house was empty. Needless to say this didn’t work, and the wife got pregnant.<\/p>\n
A lady of several years’ experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right. Well, I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and was very healthy… but the wife got pregnant yet again.<\/p>\n
Another tale we heard was if the wife jumped up and down after intercourse this would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk but still got pregnant again.<\/p>\n
I asked the pharmacist about the condoms and he demonstrated them, so I bought a packet. My wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of those things over your thumb could prevent babies.<\/p>\n
We tried the coil next but that didn’t work. It had a left-hand screw and my wife is definitely a right-hand screw.<\/p>\n
The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but my wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across the forehead.<\/p>\n
You must appreciate my problems. If I can’t have the operation I will have to resort to oral sex, and I can’t believe that talking about it is any substitute for the real thing.<\/p>\n
Yours sincerely
\nBubba Brickhead
\nMorgantown, West Virgina<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Dr. Dover: I wish to apply for an operation to cut my nuts and make me sterile. My reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 7 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are useless. After getting married here in West Virginia I was advised to use […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[428],"class_list":["post-3621","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-redneck","tag-contraceptive"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3621","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3621"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3621\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3621"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3621"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3621"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}