{"id":3607,"date":"2015-01-25T20:10:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:10:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3607"},"modified":"2015-01-25T20:10:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:10:57","slug":"signs-youve-been-in-edinburgh-too-long","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3607","title":{"rendered":"Signs You&#8217;ve Been in Edinburgh Too Long"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You say &#8216;how?&#8217; instead of &#8216;why?&#8217;. But not in public.<\/li>\n<li>The thought of haggis, neeps and tatties does not disgust you, but you only eat it to be &#8216;ethnic&#8217;. Normally it is caviar or nothing.<\/li>\n<li>You think Glaswegians are unsavoury, but you&#8217;ve never met any as you are too scared to go to Glasgow after dark in case somebody steals one of your eleven mobile phones.<\/li>\n<li>You think it is your God-given right to slag all the other Scottish cities.<\/li>\n<li>You speak with a Morningside accent when sober&#8230; and then like a Leith dockworker when drunk.<\/li>\n<li>You have whiskey for breakfast.<\/li>\n<li>You are strangely proud and protective of Irn-Bru.<\/li>\n<li>You haven&#8217;t noticed how sickly and horrible Irn-Bru is.<\/li>\n<li>You know the difference between a McDonald and a McKenzie tartan.<\/li>\n<li>You think paying \u00a310 for a 3 minute cab ride is perfectly acceptable.<\/li>\n<li>You will sulk at the champagne being warm at Hogmanay.<\/li>\n<li>You sulk if there are no after-club parties because you can&#8217;t possibly go to bed before 11.30 am the next day.<\/li>\n<li>You will sulk if you don&#8217;t manage to spend \u00a31000 on your Jenners account card in your lunch hour.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You say &#8216;how?&#8217; instead of &#8216;why?&#8217;. But not in public. The thought of haggis, neeps and tatties does not disgust you, but you only eat it to be &#8216;ethnic&#8217;. Normally it is caviar or nothing. You think Glaswegians are unsavoury, but you&#8217;ve never met any as you are too scared to go to Glasgow after [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[570,1295],"class_list":["post-3607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-edinburgh","tag-scotland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3607"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3607\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}