{"id":3605,"date":"2015-01-25T20:09:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:09:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3605"},"modified":"2015-01-25T20:09:48","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:09:48","slug":"facts-about-americans","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3605","title":{"rendered":"Facts About Americans"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>only 30% of us can flare our nostrils<\/li>\n<li>21% of us don&#8217;t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do.<\/li>\n<li>Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly.<\/li>\n<li>40% of women have hurled footwear at a man<\/li>\n<li>85% of men don&#8217;t use the slit in their underwear<\/li>\n<li>67.5% of men wear tightie whities (briefs)<\/li>\n<li>the average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago it was a 34B<\/li>\n<li>85% of women wear the wrong bra size<\/li>\n<li>3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations<\/li>\n<li>13% of us admit to occasionally doing our offspring&#8217;s homework<\/li>\n<li>91% of us lie regularly<\/li>\n<li>27% admit to cheating on a test or quiz<\/li>\n<li>29% admit they&#8217;ve intentionally stolen something from a store<\/li>\n<li>50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods<\/li>\n<li>90% believe in divine retribution<\/li>\n<li>10% believe in the 10 Commandments<\/li>\n<li>82% believe in an afterlife<\/li>\n<li>45% believe in ghosts<\/li>\n<li>13% (mostly men) have spent a night in jail<\/li>\n<li>29% of us are virgins when we marry<\/li>\n<li>58.4% have called into work sick when we weren&#8217;t<\/li>\n<li>10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item<\/li>\n<li>Over 50% believe in spanking&#8212;but only a child over 2 years old<\/li>\n<li>35% give to charity at least once a month<\/li>\n<p><li>How far would you go for $10 million?<br \/>\n25% would abandon their friends, family, and church<br \/>\n7% would murder<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<li>69% eat the cake before the frosting<\/li>\n<li>When nobody else is around, 47% drink straight from the carton<\/li>\n<li>85% of us will eat Spam this year<\/li>\n<li>70% of us drink orange juice daily<\/li>\n<li>Snickers is the most popular candy<\/li>\n<li>22% of us skip lunch daily<\/li>\n<li>9% of us skip breakfast daily<\/li>\n<li>66% of us eat cereal regularly<\/li>\n<li>22% of all restaurant meals include French fries!<\/li>\n<li>14% of us eat the watermelon seeds<\/li>\n<li>only 13% brush our teeth from side to side<\/li>\n<li>45% use mouthwash every day<\/li>\n<li>22% leave the glob of toothpaste in the sink<\/li>\n<li>the typical shower is 101 degrees F<\/li>\n<li>Nearly 1\/3 of U.S. women color their hair<\/li>\n<li>9% of women and 8% of men have had cosmetic surgery<\/li>\n<li>53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on<\/li>\n<li>58% of women paint their nails regularly<\/li>\n<li>62% of us pop our zits<\/li>\n<li>33% of women lie about their weight<\/li>\n<li>10% of us claim to have seen a ghost<\/li>\n<li>49% believe in ESP<\/li>\n<li>4 out of 5 of us have suffered from hemorrhoids<\/li>\n<li>the average girl starts her period at age 12<\/li>\n<li>44% have broken a bone<\/li>\n<li>only 30% of us know our cholesterol level<\/li>\n<li>14% have attended a self-help meeting<\/li>\n<li>15% regularly go to a shrink<\/li>\n<li>78% would rather die quickly than live in a retirement home<\/li>\n<li>46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they&#8217;ve used the toilet, yet women claim to ALWAYS find it up<\/li>\n<li>30% of us refuse to sit on a public toilet seat<\/li>\n<li>54.2% of us always wash our hands after using the toilet<\/li>\n<li>23.5% admit they don&#8217;t always flush<\/li>\n<li>45.2% pee in the shower<\/li>\n<li>44.9% pee in the ocean<\/li>\n<li>28.1% pee in the pool<\/li>\n<li>55.2% will let someone else come in the bathroom while they&#8217;re using the toilet<\/li>\n<li>39% of us peek in our host&#8217;s bathroom cabinet. 17% have been caught by the host.<\/li>\n<li>81.3% would tell an acquaintance to zip his pants<\/li>\n<li>29% of us ignore RSVP<\/li>\n<li>1.6% of us eavesdrop<\/li>\n<li>22% are functionally illiterate<\/li>\n<li>less than 10% are trilingual<\/li>\n<li>37% claim to know how to use all the features on their VCR<\/li>\n<li>53% prefer ATM machines over tellers<\/li>\n<li>56% of women do the bills in a marriage<\/li>\n<li>2 out of 3 of us wouldn&#8217;t give up our spouse even for a night for a million bucks<\/li>\n<li>20% of us have played in a band at one time in our life<\/li>\n<li>40% of us have had music lessons<\/li>\n<li>44% reuse tinfoil<\/li>\n<li>57% save pretty gift paper to reuse<\/li>\n<li>66% of women and 59% of men have used a mix to cook and taken credit for doing it from scratch<\/li>\n<li>53% read their horoscopes regularly<\/li>\n<li>16% of us have forgotten our own wedding anniversary (mostly men)<\/li>\n<li>59% of us say we&#8217;re average-looking<\/li>\n<li>90% of us depend on alarm clocks to wake up<\/li>\n<li>53% of us would take advice from Anne Landers<\/li>\n<li>28% of us have skinny-dipped. 14% with the opposite sex.<\/li>\n<li>51% of adults dress up for a Halloween festivity<\/li>\n<li>on average, we send 38 Christmas cards every year<\/li>\n<li>20% of women consider their parents to be their best friends<\/li>\n<li>2 out of 5 have married their first love<\/li>\n<li>the biggest cause of matrimonial fighting is money<\/li>\n<li>only 4% asked the parents&#8217; approval for their bride&#8217;s hand<\/li>\n<li>1 in 5 men proposed on his knees<\/li>\n<li>6% propose over the phone<\/li>\n<li>71% can drive a stick-shift car<\/li>\n<li>45% of us consistently follow the speed limit<\/li>\n<li>2\/3 of us speed up at a yellow light<\/li>\n<li>1\/3 of us don&#8217;t wear seat belts<\/li>\n<li>12% of men never use their car blinkers<\/li>\n<li>44% of men tailgate to speed up the person in front of them<\/li>\n<li>25% of us drive after we&#8217;ve been drinking<\/li>\n<li>4 out of 5 sing in the car<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>only 30% of us can flare our nostrils 21% of us don&#8217;t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man 85% of men don&#8217;t use the slit [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[132],"class_list":["post-3605","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-americans"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3605","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3605"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3605\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3605"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3605"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3605"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}