{"id":3601,"date":"2015-01-25T20:08:07","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:08:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3601"},"modified":"2015-01-25T20:08:07","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T18:08:07","slug":"you-might-be-a-farmer-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3601","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be A Farmer If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.<\/li>\n<li>You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.<\/li>\n<li>You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.<\/li>\n<li>You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.<\/li>\n<li>You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.<\/li>\n<li>You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife&#8217;s birthday.<\/li>\n<li>You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of equipment.<\/li>\n<li>You have used a velvetleaf plant as toilet paper.<\/li>\n<li>You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.<\/li>\n<li>You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife. You convince your wife that an overnight, out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house. You&#8217;ve never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[625],"class_list":["post-3601","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-farmer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3601","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3601"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3601\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}