{"id":3589,"date":"2015-01-25T19:30:37","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:30:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3589"},"modified":"2015-01-25T19:30:37","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:30:37","slug":"signs-youve-been-in-glasgow-too-long","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3589","title":{"rendered":"Signs You&#8217;ve Been in Glasgow Too Long"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You say &#8216;pish&#8217; all the time.<\/li>\n<li>You say &#8216;aye&#8217; all the time.<\/li>\n<li>You end sentences with &#8216;like&#8217; i.e. &#8216;I&#8217;m no goin&#8217; there, like, it&#8217;s pish&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it &#8216;tastes of pish, like&#8217;<\/li>\n<li>You get an urge to punch everybody you meet.<\/li>\n<li>You punch everybody you meet.<\/li>\n<li>You get drunk before, after and during punching everybody you meet.<\/li>\n<li>You are incomprehensible.<\/li>\n<li>People seem to be scared of you when you say where you are from.<\/li>\n<li>You automatically get the urge to kill on hearing the words &#8216;Edinburgh&#8217; or &#8216;England&#8217;.<\/li>\n<p><li>You have heart disease aged 26 due to all deep-fried pizzas you have consumed since birth.\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You say &#8216;pish&#8217; all the time. You say &#8216;aye&#8217; all the time. You end sentences with &#8216;like&#8217; i.e. &#8216;I&#8217;m no goin&#8217; there, like, it&#8217;s pish&#8217; You think McEwans beer is great, ignoring the fact it &#8216;tastes of pish, like&#8217; You get an urge to punch everybody you meet. You punch everybody you meet. You get [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[723,1295],"class_list":["post-3589","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-glasgow","tag-scotland"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3589","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3589"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3589\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3589"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3589"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3589"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}