{"id":3583,"date":"2015-01-25T19:26:27","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:26:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3583"},"modified":"2015-01-25T19:26:27","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:26:27","slug":"you-know-its-hot-outside-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3583","title":{"rendered":"You Know It&#8217;s Hot Outside When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You notice your car overheating before you drive it.<\/li>\n<li>Your computer won&#8217;t work unless it has it&#8217;s own AC blowing on it.<\/li>\n<li>Hot air balloons can&#8217;t go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.<\/li>\n<li>Airplanes can&#8217;t land because the asphalt is too soft.<\/li>\n<li>You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.<\/li>\n<li>The swans in the park come in &#8220;original recipe&#8221; and &#8220;extra crispy.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.<\/li>\n<li>The strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper.<\/li>\n<li>Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.<\/li>\n<li>The hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot.<\/li>\n<li>Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.<\/li>\n<li>A scalding hot shower still cools you down.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve been getting hot flashes, and you&#8217;re a man.<\/li>\n<li>People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.<\/li>\n<li>A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.<\/li>\n<li>The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.<\/li>\n<li>You need a spatula to remove your clothing.<\/li>\n<li>When the beer gut and big butt don&#8217;t keep you from wearing shorts.<\/li>\n<li>You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather.<\/li>\n<li>You ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible.<\/li>\n<li>You are sweating in both directions &#8212; up and down!<\/li>\n<li>Lawyers kill themselves because they know it&#8217;s cooler in Hell.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.<\/li>\n<li>Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.<\/li>\n<li>You burn your hand opening the car door.<\/li>\n<li>You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.<\/li>\n<li>You are sitting inside reading these jokes.<\/li>\n<li>Your brother&#8217;s braces make blisters on his lips.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You notice your car overheating before you drive it. Your computer won&#8217;t work unless it has it&#8217;s own AC blowing on it. Hot air balloons can&#8217;t go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside. Airplanes can&#8217;t land because the asphalt is too soft. You discover that it only takes two fingers [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[810,1377],"class_list":["post-3583","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-weathers","tag-hot","tag-summer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3583","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3583"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3583\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3583"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3583"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3583"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}