{"id":3577,"date":"2015-01-25T19:24:17","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:24:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3577"},"modified":"2015-01-25T19:24:17","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:24:17","slug":"you-know-you-are-italian-when","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3577","title":{"rendered":"You Know You Are Italian When&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You&#8217;re 5&#8217;4&#8243;, can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you.<\/li>\n<li>Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a&#8217;76 Monte Carlo.<\/li>\n<li>You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro.<\/li>\n<li>Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant and travel agent are all blood relatives.<\/li>\n<li>You consider dunking a pack of &#8220;S&#8221; cookies in milk a nutritious breakfast. <\/li>\n<li>Your 2 best friends are your cousin and brother-in-law&#8217;s brother-in-law.<\/li>\n<li>Despite the hair on your back, you still try to impress the ladies by wearing your &#8220;Just do me&#8221; tank top.<\/li>\n<li>At least 5 of your cousins live on your street.<\/li>\n<li>All 5 of those cousins are named after your grandfather.<\/li>\n<li>A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of &#8220;professore&#8221; among your aunts.<\/li>\n<li>You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.<\/li>\n<li>If someone in your family grown beyond 5&#8217;6&#8243;, it is presumed his mother had an affair.<\/li>\n<li>There are more than 24 people in your bridal party.<\/li>\n<li>You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.<\/li>\n<li>30 years after immigrating, your parents still say, &#8220;Pronto,&#8221; when answering the phone.<\/li>\n<li>You are offended when the wedding you attend serves fewer than 3 fish courses.<\/li>\n<li>Of course you own more than 2 homes&#8230; <\/li>\n<li>You have an Un-Godly fear of wooden spoons. <\/li>\n<li>Someone in your family has a nickname after an ethnically Italian food (i.e., Pasta, Meatball, etc.).<\/li>\n<li>No matter how long you&#8217;ve been married, your wife &#8220;just can&#8217;t make homemade sauce like Mom did.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You&#8217;re 5&#8217;4&#8243;, can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, but you still cry when your mother yells at you. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a&#8217;76 Monte Carlo. You share a bathroom with your 5 brothers, have no money, but drive a $45,000 Camaro. Your mechanic, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[51],"tags":[860],"class_list":["post-3577","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-regional","tag-italian"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3577","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3577"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3577\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3577"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3577"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3577"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}