{"id":3553,"date":"2015-01-25T19:06:27","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:06:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3553"},"modified":"2015-01-25T19:06:27","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:06:27","slug":"yo-mommas-so-ugly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3553","title":{"rendered":"Yo Momma&#8217;s So Ugly&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>She is soooooo ugly that she would make a train take a dirt road!<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly her dentist treats her by mail!<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly her face could stop a sun dial.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly Dracula don&#8217;t want her.<\/li>\n<li>She was so ugly as a baby, her mom had to feed her with a slingshot.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly, when she walks by a bathroom, all the toilets flush.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly, that when she were born, the doctor slapped her mama.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly, that when she went to the zoo, the guard said: &#8220;Thanks for bringing her back.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly, when she went inside the haunted house, she came out with an application.<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly, she tried to enter a Hallowe&#8217;en contest, and the judges said: &#8220;Sorry, no professionals.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly she must have fallen out of the ugly tree and hit every branch!<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s so ugly she&#8217;s the pet of the family&#8230;her parents were too poor to own a dog!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She is soooooo ugly that she would make a train take a dirt road! She&#8217;s so ugly her dentist treats her by mail! She&#8217;s so ugly her face could stop a sun dial. She&#8217;s so ugly Dracula don&#8217;t want her. She was so ugly as a baby, her mom had to feed her with a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[71],"tags":[846,1474],"class_list":["post-3553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-momma","tag-insults","tag-ugly"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3553"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3553\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}