{"id":3539,"date":"2015-01-25T19:00:58","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:00:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3539"},"modified":"2015-01-25T19:00:58","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T17:00:58","slug":"you-might-be-po-white-trash-if","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3539","title":{"rendered":"You Might Be Po&#8217; White Trash If&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>You think &#8220;loading the dishwasher&#8221; means getting your wife drunk<\/li>\n<li>The Salvation Army declines your mattress.<\/li>\n<li>You were shooting pool when any of your children were born.<\/li>\n<li>Your school fight song was &#8220;Dueling Banjos.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Your wife has ever said, &#8220;Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever given rat traps as gifts.<\/li>\n<li>You clean your fingernails with a stick.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever hit a deer with your car, deliberately.<\/li>\n<li>Your mother has &#8220;ammo&#8221; on her Christmas list.<\/li>\n<li>You keep a can of RAID on your kitchen table.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve totaled every car you&#8217;ve ever owned.<\/li>\n<li>There has ever been crime-scene tape on your bathroom door.<\/li>\n<li>You ever got too drunk to fish.<\/li>\n<li>You consider the fifth grade your senior year.<\/li>\n<li>Directions to your house include, &#8220;Turn off the paved road.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>The dog can&#8217;t watch you eat without gagging.<\/li>\n<li>Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.<\/li>\n<li>You think the French Riviera is a foreign car<\/li>\n<li>You prefer car keys to Q-Tips.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever financed a tattoo.<\/li>\n<li>The gas pedal in your car is shaped like a bare foot.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever bought a used hat.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a dog.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re considered an expert on worm beds.<\/li>\n<li>You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.<\/li>\n<li>Your stove is on the porch and your lawn chairs are in the kitchen.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Bambi&#8221; made you hungry for rabbit.<\/li>\n<li>You learned to drive in a monster truck.<\/li>\n<li>You spit chewing tobacco in the plants.<\/li>\n<li>Your wedding reception included a beer brunch.<\/li>\n<li>You believe books are bad luck.<\/li>\n<li>You believe all-star wrestling should be an Olympic competition.<\/li>\n<li>You believe all-star wrestling.<\/li>\n<li>You recycle motor oil by moving it from the car to the truck.<\/li>\n<li>You think a &#8220;thesaurus&#8221; was a dinosaur.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You think &#8220;loading the dishwasher&#8221; means getting your wife drunk The Salvation Army declines your mattress. You were shooting pool when any of your children were born. Your school fight song was &#8220;Dueling Banjos.&#8221; Your wife has ever said, &#8220;Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.&#8221; You&#8217;ve ever given rat traps as [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[50],"tags":[1520],"class_list":["post-3539","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-redneck","tag-white-trash"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3539","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3539"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3539\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3539"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3539"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3539"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}