{"id":3504,"date":"2015-01-25T13:12:43","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:12:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3504"},"modified":"2015-01-25T13:12:43","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:12:43","slug":"modern-laws","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3504","title":{"rendered":"Modern Laws"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Murphy&#8217;s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.<\/li>\n<li>Kauffman&#8217;s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.<\/li>\n<li>The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to bump you into the next tax bracket and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.<\/li>\n<li>Miller&#8217;s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.<\/li>\n<li>Weiner&#8217;s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.<\/li>\n<li>Isaac&#8217;s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.<\/li>\n<li>The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.<\/li>\n<li>Lampner&#8217;s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Murphy&#8217;s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five. Kauffman&#8217;s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[1027],"class_list":["post-3504","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rules","tag-modern-times"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3504","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3504"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3504\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3504"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3504"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3504"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}