{"id":3502,"date":"2015-01-25T13:11:46","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:11:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3502"},"modified":"2015-01-25T13:11:46","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:11:46","slug":"rules-to-help-men-understand-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3502","title":{"rendered":"Rules to help Men Understand Women"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Learn to work the toilet seat. If you&#8217;ve managed to lift it up, gravity is on your side when it comes to putting it back down.<\/li>\n<li>Sometimes, we are not thinking about having sex.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I ate it, didn&#8217;t I?&#8221; is not considered praise.<\/li>\n<li>Your responsibility for raising children does NOT end at conception.<\/li>\n<li>Get rid of your comb-over. It&#8217;s not different &#8212; it&#8217;s just as ridiculous as every other comb over. You&#8217;re losing your hair &#8212; face it.<\/li>\n<li>An order of takeout ribs and a Chris Farley movie is not everybody&#8217;s idea of a good time.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Yeah yeah, you look fine&#8221; is not a compliment.<\/li>\n<li>Yes, I DO tell my best friend everything.<\/li>\n<li>You have enough ballcaps.<\/li>\n<li>You have too many t-shirts.<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re too old to wear a goatee.<\/li>\n<li>Every actor we find attractive is not gay. You can stop using this one &#8212; we&#8217;ve all heard it.<\/li>\n<li>A hug is not always a prelude to sex.<\/li>\n<li>When we ask &#8220;are you listening,&#8221; we already know you&#8217;re not.<\/li>\n<li>Your best friend is an idiot<\/li>\n<li>Nothing says &#8220;I love you&#8221; like offering to go to the grocery store.<\/li>\n<li>If you can rebuild the carburetor on a &#8217;66 Mustang, working the washing machine should be a snap.<\/li>\n<li>Yes and no are sometimes acceptable answers &#8212; grunts and blank stares are not.<\/li>\n<li>A sore back that prevents you from doing household chores for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.<\/li>\n<li>Underwear is like a car. After five years, it needs to be replaced with a newer model.<\/li>\n<li>A romantic weekend getaway does not involve baiting a hook.<\/li>\n<li>Slapping us on the butt and saying &#8220;how bout getting me a cold one&#8221; is not foreplay.<\/li>\n<li>The missionary position is best left to missionaries.<\/li>\n<li>Rolling over and mumbling &#8220;I&#8217;ve got to get some sleep&#8221; does not produce an afterglow.<\/li>\n<li>If it was really good for me&#8230;you wouldn&#8217;t have to ask.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Learn to work the toilet seat. If you&#8217;ve managed to lift it up, gravity is on your side when it comes to putting it back down. Sometimes, we are not thinking about having sex. &#8220;I ate it, didn&#8217;t I?&#8221; is not considered praise. Your responsibility for raising children does NOT end at conception. Get rid [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25,52],"tags":[1477],"class_list":["post-3502","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-for-men","category-rules","tag-understanding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3502","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3502"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3502\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3502"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3502"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3502"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}