{"id":3500,"date":"2015-01-25T13:10:41","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:10:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3500"},"modified":"2015-01-25T13:10:41","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:10:41","slug":"laws-of-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3500","title":{"rendered":"Laws of Work"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If you can&#8217;t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.<\/li>\n<li>A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t be irreplaceable. If you can&#8217;t be replaced, you can&#8217;t be promoted.<\/li>\n<li>It doesn&#8217;t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you&#8217;ve done and what you&#8217;re going to do.<\/li>\n<li>After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.<\/li>\n<li>The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.<\/li>\n<li>You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.<\/li>\n<li>Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.<\/li>\n<li>When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.<\/li>\n<li>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.<\/li>\n<li>There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.<\/li>\n<li>Keep your boss&#8217;s boss off your boss&#8217;s back.<\/li>\n<li>Everything can be filed under &#8220;miscellaneous.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.<\/li>\n<li>To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.<\/li>\n<li>Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn&#8217;t the work he\/she is supposed to be doing.<\/li>\n<li>Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.<\/li>\n<li>If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.<\/li>\n<li>You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.<\/li>\n<li>People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn&#8217;t.<\/li>\n<li>If it wasn&#8217;t for the last minute, nothing would get done.<\/li>\n<li>At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.<\/li>\n<li>When you don&#8217;t know what to do, walk fast and look worried.<\/li>\n<li>Following the rules will not get the job done.<\/li>\n<li>Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.<\/li>\n<li>When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, &#8220;How would the Lone Ranger handle this?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>No matter how much you do, you never do enough.<\/li>\n<li>The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you can&#8217;t get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. Don&#8217;t be irreplaceable. If you can&#8217;t be replaced, you can&#8217;t be promoted. It doesn&#8217;t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you&#8217;ve [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52,70],"tags":[1091],"class_list":["post-3500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rules","category-work","tag-office-rules"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3500"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3500\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}