{"id":3494,"date":"2015-01-25T13:02:09","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:02:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3494"},"modified":"2015-01-25T13:02:09","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T11:02:09","slug":"rules-for-frequent-flyers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3494","title":{"rendered":"Rules for Frequent Flyers"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.<\/li>\n<li>If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.<\/li>\n<li>If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.<\/li>\n<li>Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.<\/li>\n<li>If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee.<\/li>\n<li>Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.<\/li>\n<li>The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.<\/li>\n<li>The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight. If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal. If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed. Flights never leave from Gate [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52,63],"tags":[118],"class_list":["post-3494","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rules","category-travel","tag-air-travel"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3494","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3494"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3494\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3494"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3494"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3494"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}