{"id":348,"date":"2014-12-22T00:00:53","date_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:00:53","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/fun\/?p=348"},"modified":"2014-12-22T00:00:53","modified_gmt":"2014-12-21T22:00:53","slug":"let-me-win-the-lotto","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=348","title":{"rendered":"Let Me Win the Lotto!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust, and she&#8217;s in a serious financial mess. She&#8217;s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.<\/p>\n<p>She begins to pray, &#8220;God, please help me&#8230;I&#8217;ve lost my business and I&#8217;m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Lotto night comes, and she is devastated when someone else wins it.<\/p>\n<p>Brandi prays again&#8230;&#8221;God, please let me win the lotto! I&#8217;ve lost my business, my house, and I&#8217;m going to lose my car as well&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Lotto night comes, and Brandi still has absolutely no luck.<\/p>\n<p>Once again, she prays. &#8220;My God, why have you forsaken me?! I&#8217;ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are very hungry. I don&#8217;t often ask for you to help, and I am a constant good servant for you&#8230;PLEASE just let me win the lotto this ONE time so I can get my life back in order&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Work with me here, Brandi. Buy a ticket!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust, and she&#8217;s in a serious financial mess. She&#8217;s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, &#8220;God, please help me&#8230;I&#8217;ve lost my business and I&#8217;m going to lose my house as well. Please let [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[250,936],"class_list":["post-348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blondes","tag-blondes","tag-lottery"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}