{"id":3474,"date":"2015-01-25T11:52:27","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T09:52:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3474"},"modified":"2015-01-25T11:52:27","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T09:52:27","slug":"basic-guide-for-scientists","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3474","title":{"rendered":"Basic Guide for Scientists"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>I. Science Classification\n<ul>\n<li>If it&#8217;s green or it wiggles, it&#8217;s part of Biology.<\/li>\n<li>If it stinks, it&#8217;s Chemistry.<\/li>\n<li>If it doesn&#8217;t work, it belongs to Physics.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>II. Rules for Laboratory Workers\n<ul>\n<li>When you don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re doing, do it neatly.<\/li>\n<li>First draw your curves, then plot the data.<\/li>\n<li>Experience is directly proportional to the equipment ruined.<\/li>\n<li>Experiments must be reproducible. They should all fail the same way.<\/li>\n<li>A record of data is essential. It indicates you have been working.<\/li>\n<li>In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.<\/li>\n<li>Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.<\/li>\n<li>Teamwork is essential in the lab. It allows you to blame someone else.<\/li>\n<li>Always leave room to add an explanation when it doesn&#8217;t work.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<li>III. Finagle&#8217;s Laws, Creed, and Motto\n<ul>\n<li>First Law &#8211; If anything can go wrong with an experiment, it will.<\/li>\n<li>Second Law &#8211; No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone willing to fake it.<\/li>\n<li>Third Law &#8211; No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.<\/li>\n<li>Fourth Law &#8211; No matter what the result, there is always someone eager to misinterpret it.<\/li>\n<li>Creed &#8211; Science is truth. Don&#8217;t be misled by facts.<\/li>\n<li>Motto &#8211; Smile; tomorrow it will be worse.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I. Science Classification If it&#8217;s green or it wiggles, it&#8217;s part of Biology. If it stinks, it&#8217;s Chemistry. If it doesn&#8217;t work, it belongs to Physics. II. Rules for Laboratory Workers When you don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re doing, do it neatly. First draw your curves, then plot the data. Experience is directly proportional to the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[52],"tags":[1292],"class_list":["post-3474","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-rules","tag-science"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3474"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3474\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3474"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3474"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3474"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}