{"id":3472,"date":"2015-01-25T11:50:14","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T09:50:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3472"},"modified":"2015-01-25T11:50:14","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T09:50:14","slug":"the-worst-country-western-song-titles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3472","title":{"rendered":"The Worst Country-Western Song Titles"},"content":{"rendered":"<div align=\"center\">Compiled By: Bill Atchley<\/div>\n<ul>\n<li>Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed<\/li>\n<li>Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life<\/li>\n<li>Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I&#8217;m Kissing You Goodbye<\/li>\n<li>Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure<\/li>\n<li>How Can I Miss You If You Won&#8217;t Go Away?<\/li>\n<li>How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When You Know I&#8217;ve Been A Liar All My Life<\/li>\n<li>I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life<\/li>\n<li>I Don&#8217;t Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling<\/li>\n<li>I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me<\/li>\n<li>I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart<\/li>\n<li>I Keep Forgettin I Forgot About You<\/li>\n<li>I Wanna Whip Your Cow<\/li>\n<li>I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn&#8217;t Spell Yuck<\/li>\n<li>I Wouldn&#8217;t Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I&#8217;m Afraid She&#8217;d Win<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;d Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ve Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ve Got The Hungries For Your Love And I&#8217;m Waiting In Your Welfare Line<\/li>\n<li>If I Can&#8217;t Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You<\/li>\n<li>If Love Were Oil, I&#8217;d Be A Quart Low<\/li>\n<li>If My Nose Were Full of Nickels, I&#8217;d Blow It All On You<\/li>\n<li>If You Don&#8217;t Leave Me Alone, I&#8217;ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will<\/li>\n<li>If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?<\/li>\n<li>Mama Get The Hammer (Theres A Fly On Papa&#8217;s Head)<\/li>\n<li>My Every Day Silver Is Plastic<\/li>\n<li>My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field, While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart<\/li>\n<li>My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him<\/li>\n<li>Oh, I&#8217;ve Got Hair Oil On My Ears And My Glasses Are Slipping Down, But Baby I Can See Through You<\/li>\n<li>Pardon Me, I&#8217;ve Got Someone To Kill<\/li>\n<li>She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft<\/li>\n<li>She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger<\/li>\n<li>She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart<\/li>\n<li>She&#8217;s Got Freckles On Her, But She&#8217;s Pretty<\/li>\n<li>Thank God And Greyhound She&#8217;s Gone<\/li>\n<li>They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can&#8217;t Stop My Face From Breakin Out<\/li>\n<li>Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart<\/li>\n<li>When You Leave Walk Out Backwards, So I&#8217;ll Think You&#8217;re Walking In<\/li>\n<li>You Can&#8217;t Have Your Kate And Edith, Too<\/li>\n<li>You Can&#8217;t Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd<\/li>\n<li>You Done Tore Out My Heart And Stomped That Sucker Flat<\/li>\n<li>You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life<\/li>\n<li>You&#8217;re The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Compiled By: Bill Atchley Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth Cause I&#8217;m Kissing You Goodbye Her Teeth Were Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure How Can I Miss You If You Won&#8217;t Go Away? [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[43],"tags":[446],"class_list":["post-3472","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-musics","tag-country-music"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3472","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3472"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3472\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3472"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3472"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3472"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}