{"id":3442,"date":"2015-01-25T10:46:42","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:46:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3442"},"modified":"2015-01-25T10:46:42","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:46:42","slug":"lord-grant-me-the-serenity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3442","title":{"rendered":"Lord, Grant Me the Serenity…"},"content":{"rendered":"
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,<\/p>\n

the courage to change the things I can,<\/p>\n

and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people<\/p>\n

I had to kill because they pissed me off!<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are,<\/p>\n

the courage to maintain self-control,<\/p>\n

and the wisdom to know if I act on it,<\/p>\n

I will go to jail!<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept fucktards I cannot change,<\/p>\n

and the restraint not to punch them in the face!<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, grant me the senility to forget the people,<\/p>\n

I never liked anyway,<\/p>\n

the good fortune to run into the ones I do,<\/p>\n

and the eyesight to tell the difference.<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, grant me the sanity to accept the annoying things,<\/p>\n

my kids do that I cannot change,<\/p>\n

the patience to endure the endless nagging,<\/p>\n

that I will have to do to change the things I can,<\/p>\n

and just enough wine to know the difference.<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept selfish ungrateful people,<\/p>\n

for who they are,<\/p>\n

and the courage not to become bitter,<\/p>\n

and the wisdom not to let it ever happen again.<\/p><\/div>\n

\n
Lord, give me enough coffee<\/p>\n

to change the things that need to change,<\/p>\n

and enough spare change<\/p>\n

to make that coffee as large as it possibly can be.<\/p><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off! Lord, grant me the serenity to accept stupid people the way they are, the courage to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[1308],"class_list":["post-3442","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-serenity-prayer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3442","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3442"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3442\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3442"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3442"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3442"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}