The devil wanted a place on earth
\nSort of a summer home
\nA place to spend his vacation
\nWhenever he wanted to roam.
\nSo he picked out Texas
\nA place both wretched and rough
\nWhere the climate was to his liking
\nAnd the cowboys hardened and tough.<\/p>\n
He dried up the streams in the canyons
\nAnd ordered no rain to fall
\nHe dried up the lakes in the valleys
\nThen baked and scorched it all.<\/p>\n
Then over his barren country
\nHe transplanted shrubs from hell.
\nThe cactus, thistle and prickly pear
\nThe climate suited them well.<\/p>\n
Now the home was much to his liking
\nBut animal life, he had none.
\nSo he created crawling creatures
\nThat all mankind would shun.<\/p>\n
First he made the rattlesnake
\nWith it’s forked poisonous tongue.
\nTaught it to strike and rattle
\nAnd how to swallow it’s young.<\/p>\n
Then he made scorpions and lizards
\nAnd the ugly old horned toad.
\nHe placed spiders of every description
\nUnder rocks by the side of the road.<\/p>\n
Then he ordered the sun to shine hotter,
\nHotter and hotter still.
\nUntil even the cactus wilted
\nAnd the old horned lizard took ill.<\/p>\n
Then he gazed on his earthly kingdom
\nAs any creator would
\nHe chuckled a little up his sleeve
\nAnd admitted that it was good.<\/p>\n
‘Twas summer now and Satan lay
\nBy a prickly pear to rest.
\nThe sweat rolled off his swarthy brow
\nSo he took off his coat and vest.<\/p>\n
“By Golly,” he finally panted,
\n“I did my job too well,
\nI’m going back to where I came from,
\nTexas is hotter than Hell.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The devil wanted a place on earth Sort of a summer home A place to spend his vacation Whenever he wanted to roam. So he picked out Texas A place both wretched and rough Where the climate was to his liking And the cowboys hardened and tough. He dried up the streams in the canyons […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[60,65],"tags":[1425],"class_list":["post-3425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-texas","category-poetry","tag-texas"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3425","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3425"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3425\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3425"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3425"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3425"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}