Oh SPAM! Oh SPAM! Gourmet delight!
\nMy food by day, my dreams by night.
\nTo carve, to slice, to dice you up–
\npureed in a blender and sipped from a cup.<\/p>\n
What shining deity from Olympus knelt
\ndown to the earth and hog butt smelt?
\nCreating then man’s eternal desire
\nfor swine entrails congealed by fire.<\/p>\n
On some corporate farm, a pig has died.
\nEyes, tongue, and snout end up inside
\nthat cube of SPAM hidden in the can
\nI now hold in my trembling hand.<\/p>\n
More than mere food, SPAM is for me
\na hedonistic expression of gluttonous glee.
\nMottled with pork fat, the pink cube engrosses.
\nMy mouth takes it in, my intestine disposes.<\/p>\n
Long have my arteries clogged to the sound
\nof sizzling SPAM when there’s no one around–
\nfurtively chewing or swallowing whole.
\nTriple bypass by forty, my medical goal.<\/p>\n
Other processed meat products I’ve tried or declined
\nVienna Sausages, Treat, even pig’s feet in brine.
\nThough each may be tasty in different ways,
\nnone matches SPAM for gelatinous glaze.<\/p>\n
That glistening pinkness beckons me
\nwith gristle, fat, and BHT.
\nOh SPAM, my SPAM — the taste, the smell!
\nThe sacred meat product, from Hormel.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oh SPAM! Oh SPAM! Gourmet delight! My food by day, my dreams by night. To carve, to slice, to dice you up– pureed in a blender and sipped from a cup. What shining deity from Olympus knelt down to the earth and hog butt smelt? Creating then man’s eternal desire for swine entrails congealed by […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[660],"class_list":["post-3423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3423"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3423\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}