{"id":3416,"date":"2015-01-25T10:24:57","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:24:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3416"},"modified":"2015-01-25T10:24:57","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:24:57","slug":"a-naughty-little-poem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3416","title":{"rendered":"A Naughty Little Poem"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m sure you can imagine
\nAs plain as can be
\nThe place is Piccadilly
\nThe players He and She.<\/p>\n

She whispered, “Will it hurt me?”
\n“Of course not,” answered he.
\n“It’s a very simple process,
\nYou can rely on me.”<\/p>\n

She said, “I’m very frightened,
\nI’ve not had this before.
\nMy friend has had it five times
\nAnd said it can be sore.”<\/p>\n

Then finally contented
\nLay back and relax a bit
\nQuickly and readily he bent over her
\nAnd then he started it.<\/p>\n

It was growing rather painful
\nTears formed in her eyes
\nIt was hurting quite a bit now
\nIt must have been quite a size.<\/p>\n

“Calm yourself,” he whispered
\nHis face was filled with a grin
\n“Try and open a bit wider
\nSo I can get it in.”<\/p>\n

“It’s coming now,” he whispered
\n“I know,” she cried in bliss
\nFeeling it deep within her now
\nShe said “I am glad I am having this.”<\/p>\n

And with a final effort
\nShe gave a frightened shout
\nHe gripped it in anguish
\nAnd quickly pulled it out.<\/p>\n

She lay back quite contended
\nSighed and gave a smile
\nShe said “I’m glad I came now.
\nYou made it worth my while.”<\/p>\n

Now if you read this carefully
\nThe dentist you will find
\nIs not what you imagined
\nIt’s just your dirty mind!<\/p>\n

\n
Practice safe fax – use a cover sheet!<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m sure you can imagine As plain as can be The place is Piccadilly The players He and She. She whispered, “Will it hurt me?” “Of course not,” answered he. “It’s a very simple process, You can rely on me.” She said, “I’m very frightened, I’ve not had this before. My friend has had it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[841],"class_list":["post-3416","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-innuendo"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3416","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3416"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3416\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3416"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3416"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3416"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}