{"id":3384,"date":"2015-01-25T10:01:25","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:01:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3384"},"modified":"2015-01-25T10:01:25","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T08:01:25","slug":"green-eggs-and-hamlet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3384","title":{"rendered":"Green Eggs and Hamlet"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I ask to be, or not to be.<br \/>\nThat is the question, I ask of me.<br \/>\nThis sullied life, it makes me shudder.<br \/>\nMy uncle&#8217;s boffing dear, sweet mother.<br \/>\nWould I, could I take my life?<br \/>\nCould I, should I, end this strife?<br \/>\nShould I jump out of a plane?<br \/>\nOr throw myself before a train?<br \/>\nShould I from a cliff just leap?<br \/>\nCould I put myself to sleep?<br \/>\nShoot myself, or take some poison?<br \/>\nMaybe try self immolation?<br \/>\nTo shudder off this mortal coil,<br \/>\nI could stab myself with a fencing foil.<br \/>\nSlash my wrists while in the bath?<br \/>\nWould it end my angst and wrath?<br \/>\nTo sleep, to dream, now there&#8217;s the rub.<br \/>\nI could drop a toaster in my tub.<br \/>\nWould all be glad, if I were dead?<br \/>\nCould I perhaps kill them instead?<br \/>\nThis line of thought takes consideration &#8211;<br \/>\nFor I&#8217;m the king of procrastination.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I ask to be, or not to be. That is the question, I ask of me. This sullied life, it makes me shudder. My uncle&#8217;s boffing dear, sweet mother. Would I, could I take my life? Could I, should I, end this strife? Should I jump out of a plane? Or throw myself before a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[65],"tags":[1312],"class_list":["post-3384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry","tag-shakespeare"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3384"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3384\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}