{"id":3376,"date":"2015-01-25T09:56:38","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T07:56:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3376"},"modified":"2015-01-25T09:56:38","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T07:56:38","slug":"the-end-of-the-raven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3376","title":{"rendered":"The End of the Raven"},"content":{"rendered":"
By Edgar Allen Poe’s Cat<\/div>\n

On a night quite unenchanting
\nWhen the rain was downward slanting
\nI awakened to the ranting
\nOf the man I catch mice for.
\nTipsy and a bit unshaven
\nPoe was talking to a Raven
\nPerched above the chamber door.
\n“Raven’s very tasty,” thought I, as I tiptoed o’er the floor,
\n“There is nothing I like more.”<\/p>\n

Soft upon the rug I treaded,
\nCalm and carefully I headed
\nTowards his roost atop that dreaded bust of Pallas I deplore.
\nWhile the Bard and birdie chattered
\nI made sure that nothing clattered,
\nCreaked or snapped, or fell, or shattered
\nAs I crossed the corridor,
\nFor his house is crammed with trinkets, curious and weird decor,
\nBric-a-brac and junk galore.<\/p>\n

Still the Raven never fluttered,
\nStanding stock still as he uttered
\nIn a voice that shrieked and sputtered
\nHis two cents worth: “Nevermore.”
\nWhile this dirge the birdbrain kept up
\nOh, so silently I crept up
\nThen I crouched and quickly leapt up,
\nPouncing on the feathered bore.
\nSoon he was a heap of plumage, plus a little blood and gore —
\nOnly this and nothing more.<\/p>\n

“Ah!” my pickled poet cried out,
\n“Pussycat, it’s time I dried out!
\nNever sat I in my hideout
\nTalking to a bird before!
\nHow I’ve wallowed in self-pity
\nWhile my gallant, noble kitty
\nPut an end to that damned ditty!”
\nThen I heard him start to snore.
\nBack atop the door I clambered, eyed that statue I abhor,
\nJumped — and smashed it on the floor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Edgar Allen Poe’s Cat On a night quite unenchanting When the rain was downward slanting I awakened to the ranting Of the man I catch mice for. Tipsy and a bit unshaven Poe was talking to a Raven Perched above the chamber door. “Raven’s very tasty,” thought I, as I tiptoed o’er the floor, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,65],"tags":[1232],"class_list":["post-3376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cats","category-poetry","tag-raven"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3376"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3376\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}