{"id":3341,"date":"2015-01-25T09:07:17","date_gmt":"2015-01-25T07:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3341"},"modified":"2015-01-25T09:07:17","modified_gmt":"2015-01-25T07:07:17","slug":"the-aarp-song","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3341","title":{"rendered":"The AARP Song"},"content":{"rendered":"<p align=\"center#>To the tune of Favorite Things<\/p>\n<p>Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,<br \/>\nWalkers and handrails and new dental fittings,<br \/>\nBundles of magazines tied up in string,<br \/>\nThese are a few of my favorite things.<\/p>\n<p>Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,<br \/>\nPolident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,<br \/>\nPacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,<br \/>\nThese are a few of my favorite things.<\/p>\n<p>When the pipes leak,<br \/>\nWhen the bones creak,<br \/>\nWhen the knees go bad,<br \/>\nI simply remember my favorite things,<br \/>\nAnd then I don&#8217;t feel so bad.<\/p>\n<p>Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,<br \/>\nNo spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,<br \/>\nBathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,<br \/>\nThese are a few of my favorite things.<\/p>\n<p>Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin&#8217;,<br \/>\nThin bones and fractures and hair that is thinin&#8217;,<br \/>\nAnd we won&#8217;t mention our short shrunken frames,<br \/>\nWhen we remember our favorite things.<\/p>\n<p>When the joints ache, when the hips break,<br \/>\nWhen the eyes grow dim,<br \/>\nThen I remember the great life I&#8217;ve had,<br \/>\nAnd then I don&#8217;t feel so bad.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,43],"tags":[633],"class_list":["post-3341","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-aging","category-musics","tag-favorite-things"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3341","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3341"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3341\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3341"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3341"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3341"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}