{"id":3317,"date":"2015-01-24T00:04:13","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:04:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3317"},"modified":"2015-01-24T00:04:13","modified_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:04:13","slug":"thoughts-to-ponder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3317","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts to Ponder"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?<\/li>\n<li>Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?<\/li>\n<li>Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?<\/li>\n<li>How do I set my laser printer on stun?<\/li>\n<li>How is it possible to have a civil war?<\/li>\n<li>If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?<\/li>\n<li>If God dropped acid, would he see people?<\/li>\n<li>If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?<\/li>\n<li>If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?<\/li>\n<li>If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?<\/li>\n<li>If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?<\/li>\n<li>If you&#8217;re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?<\/li>\n<li>If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?<\/li>\n<li>If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?<\/li>\n<li>Is a castrated pig disgruntled?<\/li>\n<li>Why are hemorrhoids called &#8220;hemorrhoids&#8221; instead of &#8220;asteroids&#8221;?<\/li>\n<li>Why is it called tourist season if we can&#8217;t shoot at them?<\/li>\n<li>Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?<\/li>\n<li>What happens when none of your bees wax?<\/li>\n<li>Where are we going? And what&#8217;s with this handbasket?<\/li>\n<li>If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn&#8217;t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?<\/li>\n<li>Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?<\/li>\n<li>If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn&#8217;t everyone just move 10 miles away?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? How do I set my laser printer on stun? How is it possible to have a civil war? If all the world is a stage, where is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[1434],"class_list":["post-3317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-thoughts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3317"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3317\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}