{"id":3311,"date":"2015-01-24T00:02:03","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:02:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3311"},"modified":"2015-01-24T00:02:03","modified_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:02:03","slug":"new-phobias","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3311","title":{"rendered":"New Phobias"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<p><li>Shrinkaphobia<br \/>\n&#8220;Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain&#8217;t getting in that cold water!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Carmenelectraphobia<br \/>\n&#8220;Get that *(^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Oldfartophobia<br \/>\n&#8220;He&#8217;s coming straight for us&#8211;with his left turn signal on!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Windophobia<br \/>\n&#8220;You have to push &#8216;Start&#8217; to turn the damn computer off?!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>ThetaFetaMetaBetaphobia<br \/>\n&#8220;I won&#8217;t go to your frat house to eat gyros and watch a tape of the Israel Philharmonic Orchestra on your old Sony VCR!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Buttcrackaphobia<br \/>\n&#8220;No!! Don&#8217;t call the plumber!!!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Phoebephobia<br \/>\n&#8220;No, I don&#8217;t want to watch &#8216;Friends.&#8217; That blonde chick freaks me out.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Probeophobia<br \/>\n&#8220;Um, Doctor, why are you putting on that rubber glove?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Rentanotherpornophobia<br \/>\n&#8220;You&#8217;re busy Saturday? Well, how about next weekend then?&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Homophobophobia<br \/>\n&#8220;It&#8217;s NOT my imagination! Senator Helms is looking at me &#8220;that&#8221; way again!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<p><li>Smallpenisphobia<br \/>\n&#8220;Honey, I bought a Corvette!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/p>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Shrinkaphobia &#8220;Hey, this is a nude beach. I ain&#8217;t getting in that cold water!&#8221; Carmenelectraphobia &#8220;Get that *(^%#*# vodka bottle away from me!!&#8221; Oldfartophobia &#8220;He&#8217;s coming straight for us&#8211;with his left turn signal on!&#8221; Windophobia &#8220;You have to push &#8216;Start&#8217; to turn the damn computer off?!&#8221; ThetaFetaMetaBetaphobia &#8220;I won&#8217;t go to your frat house to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35],"tags":[1158],"class_list":["post-3311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-medical","tag-phobia"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3311","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3311"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3311\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3311"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3311"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3311"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}