{"id":3309,"date":"2015-01-24T00:01:23","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:01:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3309"},"modified":"2015-01-24T00:01:23","modified_gmt":"2015-01-23T22:01:23","slug":"signs","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3309","title":{"rendered":"Signs"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness.<\/li>\n<li>In an office: After the coffee break, staff should empty the pot and stand upside down on the draining board.<\/li>\n<li>On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. Please use side entrance)<\/li>\n<li>Seen during a conference: For anyone who has children and doesn&#8217;t know it, there is a day care on the first floor.<\/li>\n<li>In a laundromat: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.<\/li>\n<li>Message on a leaflet: If you cannot read, this leaflet will tell you how to get lessons.<\/li>\n<li>On a repair shop door: We can repair anything (Please knock hard on the door &#8211; the bell doesn&#8217;t work)<\/li>\n<li>Spotted in a safari park: Elephants Please Stay In Your Car<\/li>\n<li>In a London department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs<\/li>\n<li>Notice in a dry cleaner&#8217;s window: Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of.<\/li>\n<li>Outside a second-hand shop: We exchange anything &#8212; bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.<\/li>\n<li>Spotted in a toilet in a London office block: Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.<\/li>\n<li>Also in an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.<\/li>\n<li>Notice in a field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges.<\/li>\n<li>Quicksand warning: Quicksand. Any person passing this point will be drowned&#8230; By order of the District Council.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In a health food shop window: Closed due to illness. In an office: After the coffee break, staff should empty the pot and stand upside down on the draining board. On a church door: This is the gate of Heaven. Enter ye all by this door. (This door is kept locked because of the draft. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28],"tags":[1319],"class_list":["post-3309","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-signs","tag-signs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3309","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3309"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3309\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3309"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3309"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3309"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}