{"id":3301,"date":"2015-01-23T23:57:27","date_gmt":"2015-01-23T21:57:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3301"},"modified":"2015-01-23T23:57:27","modified_gmt":"2015-01-23T21:57:27","slug":"modern-philosophies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3301","title":{"rendered":"Modern Philosophies"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.<\/li>\n<li>A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.<\/li>\n<li>Experience is something you don&#8217;t get until just after you need it.<\/li>\n<li>For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.<\/li>\n<li>He who hesitates is probably right.<\/li>\n<li>Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.<\/li>\n<li>No one is listening until you make a mistake.<\/li>\n<li>Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.<\/li>\n<li>The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.<\/li>\n<li>The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.<\/li>\n<li>To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.<\/li>\n<li>To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.<\/li>\n<li>Two wrongs are only the beginning.<\/li>\n<li>Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence.<\/li>\n<li>You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!)<\/li>\n<li>The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.<\/li>\n<li>Monday is an awful way to spend 1\/7th of your life.<\/li>\n<li>The sooner you fall behind, the more time you&#8217;ll have to catch up.<\/li>\n<li>The greater the diameter of knowledge the larger the circumference darkness.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If at first you don&#8217;t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. Experience is something you don&#8217;t get until just after you need it. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. He who hesitates is probably right. Never do card tricks [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wpmdr_menu":1,"wpmdr_menu_extended":{"individualPostRemove":1,"individualPostRemoveDate":1,"individualPostRemoveAuthor":1,"individualPostYoastRemovePublished":1,"individualPostYoastRemoveModified":1},"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[1157],"class_list":["post-3301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-philosophy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3301"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3301\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}