{"id":3282,"date":"2015-01-21T00:26:10","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:26:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3282"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:26:10","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:26:10","slug":"expressions-for-high-stress-days","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3282","title":{"rendered":"Expressions for High Stress Days"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<LI>You! Off my planet!!<\/li>\n<li>Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?<\/li>\n<li>Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.<\/li>\n<li>Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.<\/li>\n<li>And your crybaby whiny-arsed opinion would be&#8230;?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not crazy, I&#8217;ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.<\/li>\n<li>Allow me to introduce my selves.<\/li>\n<li>Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.<\/li>\n<li>Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.<\/li>\n<li>Do they ever shut up on your planet?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m trying to imagine you with a personality.<\/li>\n<li>Stress is when you wake up screaming, and you realize you weren&#8217;t asleep.<\/li>\n<li>I can&#8217;t remember if I&#8217;m the good twin or the evil one.<\/li>\n<li>How many times do I have to flush before you go away.<\/li>\n<li>I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?<\/li>\n<li>You say I&#8217;m a bitch like it&#8217;s a bad thing.<\/li>\n<li>Can I trade this job for what&#8217;s behind door #2?<\/li>\n<li>Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?<\/li>\n<li>Chaos, panic and disorder &#8211; my work here is done.<\/li>\n<li>Everyone thinks I&#8217;m psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.<\/li>\n<li>Earth is full. Go home.<\/li>\n<li>Is it time for your medication or mine?<\/li>\n<li>Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?<\/li>\n<li>How do I set a laser printer to stun.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.<\/li>\n<li>When I want your opinion, I&#8217;ll give it to you.<\/li>\n<li>Your village called, their idiot is missing.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>You! Off my planet!! Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. And your crybaby whiny-arsed opinion would be&#8230;? I&#8217;m not crazy, I&#8217;ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. Allow me to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69],"tags":[1285],"class_list":["post-3282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-word-play","tag-sayings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3282\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}