{"id":3278,"date":"2015-01-21T00:24:40","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:24:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3278"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:24:40","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:24:40","slug":"great-truths-about-life-that-adults-have-learned","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3278","title":{"rendered":"Great Truths About Life that Adults Have Learned"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.<\/li>\n<li>There&#8217;s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it.  For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don&#8217;t hurt.<\/li>\n<li>Reason to smile:  Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.<\/li>\n<li>The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere&#8230;and let the air out of their tires.<\/li>\n<li>Families are like fudge&#8230;mostly sweet with a few nuts.<\/li>\n<li>Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.<\/li>\n<li>The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.<\/li>\n<li>If you can remain calm, you don&#8217;t have all the facts.<\/li>\n<li>Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.<\/li>\n<li>You know you&#8217;re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you&#8217;re down there.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. There&#8217;s always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don&#8217;t hurt. Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[1466],"class_list":["post-3278","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-truths"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3278","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3278"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3278\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3278"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3278"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3278"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}