{"id":3276,"date":"2015-01-21T00:24:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:24:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3276"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:24:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:24:00","slug":"genealogy-quips","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3276","title":{"rendered":"Genealogy Quips"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>My family coat of arms ties at the back &#8230; is that normal?<\/li>\n<li>My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated.<\/li>\n<li>My ancestors must be in a witness protection program!<\/li>\n<li>Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall!<\/li>\n<li>My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets.<\/li>\n<li>How can one ancestor cause so much TROUBLE?!<\/li>\n<li>I looked into my family tree and found out I was a sap &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not stuck, I&#8217;m ancestrally challenged.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m searching for myself; Have you seen me?<\/li>\n<li>If only people came with pull-down menus and on-line help &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Isn&#8217;t genealogy fun? The answer to one problem leads to two more!<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s 2000 &#8230; Do you know where your G-G-Grandparents are?<\/li>\n<li>A family reunion is an effective form of birth control.<\/li>\n<li>A family tree can wither if nobody tends it&#8217;s roots.<\/li>\n<li>A new cousin a day keeps the boredom away.<\/li>\n<li>After 30 days unclaimed ancestors will be adopted.<\/li>\n<li>Am I the only person up my tree &#8230; sure seems like it.<\/li>\n<li>Any family tree produces some lemons, some nuts, and a few bad apples.<\/li>\n<li>Ever find an ancestor HANGING from the family tree?<\/li>\n<li>FLOOR: The place for storing your priceless genealogy records.<\/li>\n<li>Gene-Allergy: It&#8217;s a contagious disease but I love it.<\/li>\n<li>Genealogists are time unravelers.<\/li>\n<li>Genealogy is like playing hide and seek: They hide &#8230; I seek!<\/li>\n<li>Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to better people.<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Crazy&#8221; is a relative term in my family.<\/li>\n<li>A pack rat is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor.<\/li>\n<li>I want to find ALL of them! So far I only have a few thousand.<\/li>\n<li>I Should have asked them BEFORE they died!<\/li>\n<li>I think my ancestors had several &#8220;Bad heir&#8221; days.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m always late. My ancestors arrived on the JUNEflower.<\/li>\n<li>Only a Genealogist regards a step backwards, as progress.<\/li>\n<li>Share your knowledge, it is a way to achieve immortality.<\/li>\n<li>Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools!<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s an unusual family that hath neither a lady of the evening or a thief.<\/li>\n<li>Many a family tree needs pruning.<\/li>\n<li>Shh! Be very, very quiet &#8230; I&#8217;m hunting forebears.<\/li>\n<li>Snobs talk as if they had begotten their own ancestors!<\/li>\n<li>That&#8217;s strange: half my ancestors are WOMEN!<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not sick, I&#8217;ve just got fading genes.<\/li>\n<li>Genealogists live in the past lane.<\/li>\n<li>Cousins marrying cousins: Very tangled roots!<\/li>\n<li>Cousins marrying cousins: A non-branching family tree<\/li>\n<li>Alright! Everybody out of the gene pool!<\/li>\n<li>Always willing to share my ignorance &#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Documentation &#8230;The hardest part of genealogy.<\/li>\n<li>Genealogy: Chasing your own tale!<\/li>\n<li>Genealogy &#8230; will I ever find time to mow the lawn again?<\/li>\n<li>That&#8217;s the problem with the gene pool: NO Lifeguards<\/li>\n<li>I researched my family tree &#8230; and apparently I don&#8217;t exist!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My family coat of arms ties at the back &#8230; is that normal? My family tree is a few branches short! All help appreciated. My ancestors must be in a witness protection program! Shake your family tree and watch the nuts fall! My hobby is genealogy, I raise dust bunnies as pets. How can one [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[22],"tags":[701],"class_list":["post-3276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-families","tag-genealogy"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}