{"id":3270,"date":"2015-01-21T00:21:42","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:21:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3270"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:21:42","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:21:42","slug":"some-of-my-favorite-phrases","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3270","title":{"rendered":"Some of My Favorite Phrases"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>How about never? Is never good for you?<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t know what your problem is, but I&#8217;ll bet it&#8217;s hard to pronounce.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not being rude. You&#8217;re just insignificant.<\/li>\n<li>I see you&#8217;ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.<\/li>\n<li>No, my powers can only be used for good.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ll try being nicer if you&#8217;ll try being smarter.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t work here. I&#8217;m a consultant.<\/li>\n<li>It sounds like English, but I can&#8217;t understand a word you&#8217;re saying.<\/li>\n<li>You sound reasonable&#8230; Time to up the medication.<\/li>\n<li>I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.<\/li>\n<li>You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.<\/li>\n<li>I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don&#8217;t give a damn.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.<\/li>\n<li>I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.\n<li>Thank you. We&#8217;re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.<\/li>\n<li>The fact that no one understands you doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re an artist.<\/li>\n<li>What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?<\/li>\n<li>Illiterate? Write for Help!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How about never? Is never good for you? I don&#8217;t know what your problem is, but I&#8217;ll bet it&#8217;s hard to pronounce. I&#8217;m not being rude. You&#8217;re just insignificant. I see you&#8217;ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. No, my powers can only be used for good. I&#8217;ll try being nicer [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[62],"tags":[1285],"class_list":["post-3270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-thoughts","tag-sayings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3270"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3270\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}