{"id":3262,"date":"2015-01-21T00:19:01","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:19:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3262"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:19:01","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:19:01","slug":"phrases-you-can-use-in-a-myriad-of-business-situations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3262","title":{"rendered":"Phrases You Can Use in a Myriad of Business Situations"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Thank you. We&#8217;re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.<\/li>\n<li>The fact that no one understands you doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re an artist.<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t know what your problem is, but I&#8217;ll bet it&#8217;s hard to pronounce.<\/li>\n<li>Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.<\/li>\n<li>I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don&#8217;t give a damn.<\/li>\n<li>I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.<\/li>\n<li>What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m not being rude. You&#8217;re just insignificant.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.<\/li>\n<li>Ahhh&#8230;I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s a thankless job, but I&#8217;ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.<\/li>\n<li>Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.<\/li>\n<li>No, my powers can only be used for good.<\/li>\n<li>How about never? Is never good for you?<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.<\/li>\n<li>You sound reasonable&#8230;Time to up my medication.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;ll try being nicer if you&#8217;ll try being smarter.<\/li>\n<li>I&#8217;m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>I don&#8217;t work here. I&#8217;m a consultant.<\/li>\n<li>Who me? I just wander from room to room.<\/li>\n<li>My toys! My toys! I can&#8217;t do this job without my toys!<\/li>\n<li>It might look like I&#8217;m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I&#8217;m really quite busy.<\/li>\n<li>At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.<\/li>\n<li>You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.<\/li>\n<li>I see you&#8217;ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.<\/li>\n<li>Someday, we&#8217;ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Thank you. We&#8217;re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. The fact that no one understands you doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re an artist. I don&#8217;t know what your problem is, but I&#8217;ll bet it&#8217;s hard to pronounce. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. I have plenty of talent and [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[61,70],"tags":[1285],"class_list":["post-3262","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-business-world","category-work","tag-sayings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3262"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3262\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3262"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3262"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3262"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}