{"id":3258,"date":"2015-01-21T00:17:13","date_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:17:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3258"},"modified":"2015-01-21T00:17:13","modified_gmt":"2015-01-20T22:17:13","slug":"adult-bumper-stickers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3258","title":{"rendered":"Adult Bumper Stickers"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>Constipated People Don&#8217;t Give A Crap.<\/li>\n<li>Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.<\/li>\n<li>If You Don&#8217;t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.<\/li>\n<li>Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.<\/li>\n<li>If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.<\/li>\n<li>Thank You For Pot Smoking.<\/li>\n<li>Impotence: Nature&#8217;s Way Of Saying &#8220;No Hard Feelings&#8221;.<\/li>\n<li>If You Can Read This, I&#8217;ve Lost My Trailer.<\/li>\n<li>The Earth Is Full &#8211; Go Home<\/li>\n<li>I Have The Body Of A God&#8230; Buddha<\/li>\n<li>This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren&#8217;t Happening To Me<\/li>\n<li>Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult<\/li>\n<li>If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?<\/li>\n<li>The Face Is Familiar But I Can&#8217;t Quite Remember My Name<\/li>\n<li>Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway<\/li>\n<li>Illiterate? Write For Help<\/li>\n<li>Honk If Anything Falls Off<\/li>\n<li>He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit<\/li>\n<li>Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?<\/li>\n<li>It&#8217;s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now<\/li>\n<li>I Haven&#8217;t Lost My Mind, It&#8217;s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere<\/li>\n<li>If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off  (Motorcycle)<\/li>\n<li>If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You&#8217;re Doing It Wrong&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.<\/li>\n<li>If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like JabbaThe Hut?<\/li>\n<li>Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.<\/li>\n<li>Ax Me About Ebonics<\/li>\n<li>Boldly Going Nowhere<\/li>\n<li>Cat: The Other White Meat<\/li>\n<li>Caution &#8211; Driver Legally Blonde!<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t Be Sexist &#8211; Broads Hate That<\/li>\n<li>Heart Attacks&#8230; God&#8217;s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends<\/li>\n<li>Honk If You&#8217;ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window<\/li>\n<li>How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?<\/li>\n<li>If You Can&#8217;t Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.<\/li>\n<li>Saw It&#8230; Wanted It&#8230; Had A Fit&#8230; Got It!<\/li>\n<li>What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Constipated People Don&#8217;t Give A Crap. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself. If You Don&#8217;t Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better. Thank You For Pot Smoking. Impotence: Nature&#8217;s Way Of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,69],"tags":[291],"class_list":["post-3258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-car","category-word-play","tag-bumper-stickers"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3258"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3258\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}