{"id":3217,"date":"2015-01-18T18:53:16","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:53:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3217"},"modified":"2015-01-18T18:53:16","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:53:16","slug":"overheard-at-the-sydney-olympics","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3217","title":{"rendered":"Overheard At the Sydney Olympics&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;Hell, no, I didn&#8217;t win these. I bought &#8217;em on E-Bay from some guy named Spitzer72.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The Australian team has formed a large dingo on the field&#8230; and it&#8217;s eating the New Zealand delegation!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Never date an Australian. If you throw them out, they come right back to you.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Sir. If I promise to never say &#8216;throw another shrimp on the barbie&#8217; again, would you kindly remove your boomerang from my rectum?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;d think Brandi Chastain would have at least waited until the torch was lit before ripping her shirt off.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey, you with the mustache &#8212; get out of the women&#8217;s showers!  Oh&#8230; sorry, Miss Ling.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I don&#8217;t care if you are in the NBA, everyone pays for their marijuana in this country, mate.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Suzy, we don&#8217;t have to synchronize everything. Can&#8217;t I just have 5 minutes in the bathroom by myself?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;The tribe has spoken. Please snuff out your Olympic flame and leave immediately.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;CRIKEY! This javelin being thrown at me is a REAL BEAUT! One false move and I&#8217;m impaled and done for!!&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I think somebody should tell the USA shooters that they only need to fire at each target *once*.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey &#8212; who&#8217;s the smartass throwing shrimp on the Olympic flame?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;I&#8217;m not sure it&#8217;s wise to carry an open flame around 100,000 Vegemite eaters.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, ladies, we do *not* need any volunteers to help towel off the swimmer with the size 17 feet.&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Hell, no, I didn&#8217;t win these. I bought &#8217;em on E-Bay from some guy named Spitzer72.&#8221; &#8220;The Australian team has formed a large dingo on the field&#8230; and it&#8217;s eating the New Zealand delegation!&#8221; &#8220;Never date an Australian. If you throw them out, they come right back to you.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry, Sir. If I promise [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[1097,1392],"class_list":["post-3217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sports","tag-olympic-games","tag-sydney"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3217"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3217\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}