{"id":3212,"date":"2015-01-18T18:23:30","date_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:23:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joke-archives.com\/?p=3212"},"modified":"2015-01-18T18:23:30","modified_gmt":"2015-01-18T16:23:30","slug":"overheard-at-nfl-training-camps","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/?p=3212","title":{"rendered":"Overheard at NFL Training Camps"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>&#8220;How the HELL do they expect me to support my wife AND  my girlfriend on just $5 million a year?!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Be honest. Don&#8217;t these pants make my butt look HUGE?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Does this look infected to you?&#8221; <\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Has anyone here ever SEEN a football?&#8221; (Giants and  Jets camps only)<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey, I said XXXXL! Do I *LOOK* like I wear a XXXXXL?!?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Look, kid&#8230; no $100, no autograph. Now get lost, ya little leech!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Listen, rookie, there&#8217;s a big difference between a sportsman-like pat on the ass and copping a feel!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Idiot! Wilhelm Tiselius was Europe&#8217;s foremost biochemist! What the hell&#8217;d they teach in college?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Has anyone seen my spleen?&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;That&#8217;s chump change!  *My* contract caused a $5.00 jump in ticket prices.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Fellas, be reasonable. Everybody can&#8217;t room with Irvin.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Quick! Pull my finger!&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;No, no, no. It&#8217;s RIGHT hand out palm down, THEN left hand out palm down&#8230;&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Hey Rookie, go run an Irvin and meet us back at the hotel.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Dammit!  I just finished paying for that knee!&#8221; <\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;How the HELL do they expect me to support my wife AND my girlfriend on just $5 million a year?!&#8221; &#8220;Be honest. Don&#8217;t these pants make my butt look HUGE?&#8221; &#8220;Does this look infected to you?&#8221; &#8220;Has anyone here ever SEEN a football?&#8221; (Giants and Jets camps only) &#8220;Hey, I said XXXXL! Do I *LOOK* [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[56],"tags":[661],"class_list":["post-3212","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sports","tag-football"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3212","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3212"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3212\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3212"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3212"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.joke-archives.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3212"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}